straight to the point – from different points of view

A post-Carnival calypso by Kevin Baldeosingh

A post-Carnival calypso by Kevin Baldeosingh

As I do most years, I have waited until after Carnival to publish my calypso. This is so I will not embarrass the actual calypsonians with metre, vocabulary and, of course, facts. And, following my usual practice of swimming against the tide, I have written a calypso in praise of the UNC, since there were many anti-Government calypsoes sung this season by calypsonians who had political laryngitis between 2001 and 2010. I will, however follow tradition by using a tune from years ago as though it is a completely  new melody.

Fire in dey waste
Copyright © KB, 2015
I am de queen of the party scene,
Watch how I on fire!
I is de dean of demean,
Destroyin’ like Kali ma!
They call me Kamla, la la,
Goddess who tosses bosses,
When I say, “You fire!” ah ha
I does trump all mih trusses.
Chorus:
Fire, fire, all dey wire wire,
Who doh sing with mih choir choir
I go put on de pyre pyre.
Fire fire, getting higher and higher,
Ah ya yay, oh yo yoy.
Mary Mary thought she was contrary
But she was fire King wrong!
I see through she transparency,
And like a dog I put she dong.
Then I had Collin bawlin’ like a puppy
From de parpatap I put on he head;
You cyar be drunk and fallin’ with me
Unless you drink to nearly dead.
Chorus:
Fire, fire, all dey wire wire,
Who doh gimble have to gyre,
I is Alice, in a palace
Beheading who doh my elbow kiss.
Ah ya yay, oh yo yoy.
So I appoint Verna, but I had to burn her,
When she get mad people vex;
Verna wasn’ no earner and I couldn’ turn her
To see that Trinis doh vote for sex.
From that gender agenda I just couldn’ bend her
And de election it coulda cost;
 I couldn’ risk a tender just to defend her
With Pastor Dottin always talkin’ about anus.
Chorus:
Fire, fire, all dey wire wire,
Who doh sing with mih choir choir
Sailing in straits dire dire
In ship hip-deep getting higher, higher,
Oh yo yoy, ah yah yay.
Then come Volney with he two knee
Kneeling to three and four,
And when I make him a castrati
He sing my praises even more.
Section thirty-four, a paid for law
That Rowley pretend not to see;
So all ah we like political whore
Except smiley little me!
Chorus:
Fire, fire, all dey wire wire
Who get catch in de mire mire;
Pump up mih tyre tyre
For all dem buyer buyer,
Oh yo yoy, ah ya yay.
Then Glen get on like a nennen
And karma catch up with Sharma,
Both ah dem bring down by women
When I survive Reshmi, Vidwatie, and Sasha.
And so I had was to fire dem,
Couldn’ tolerate that kinda behaviour,
Cuz how they could run dong other women
When I is dey mistress and heavenly saviour?
Chorus:
Fire, fire, all dey wire wire,
If you sing with mih choir choir
You will be sweeter sweeter
I go make you a cheater cheater
Ah ya yay, oh yo yoy.
Now every man Jack shaking
Since he get fire for fire-engine,
Is no stupidness I taking
And Ernie could spin anything.
But I confess it rock mih boat
To have to fire Anand,
Ah lose all dem votes from goats
Because Gary have a strong stand.
Still I is de boss,
Who vex does lorse,
I clean like floss,
Riding de party horse!
Chorus:
Fire, fire, all dey wire wire,
If you sing with mih choir
You will get hire hire
Once you a liar liar
Ah ya yay, oh yo yoy.

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